It could be worse...
This one has been stirring in my brain. Twelve days ago our home was burglarized. I was devastated, depressed, I felt invaded and I couldn’t even imagine WHY someone would be so mean. Violent thoughts entered into my mind. Unfortunately I have seen the person who did it so the visual of his face never leaves my head. I picture myself catching him in the act and slamming a baseball bat into his face or pointing a gun at his forehead. REALLY?! Crazy Cari, calm down! Anger Management is not my specialty as you can tell if you know me AT ALL. I have this vulnerable part of me who is always willing to give someone the benefit of the doubt. I even blamed the burglary on myself thinking I left the door open but then I found the broken window... That set me off. I knew it was him instantly. I could only see RED. All over a TV, a couple of game systems and some cameras. The most hurtful part was that we worked hard to save the money for those things. We don’t buy on credit and we EARNED those things. We didn’t buy them for some criminal to come take whatever he pleased. I didn’t have a camera to take any pictures of my sister’s one and only 30th birthday party. My son will turn 8 this weekend, no camera. My daughter is starting to learn to crawl, no camera. Her 1st Birthday is in a month. NO CAMERA! I keep telling myself, it could have been worse...
Last night as I was catching up on my DVR episodes of “The Celebrity Apprentice” I was viciously thrown back to reality. Leave it to a reality show to do that to you, right? I was watching last week’s episode. They were auctioning off artwork that they made to raise money for their charities. The amount of unselfishness and compassion by those people just hit me like a ton of bricks. John Rich’s team was raising money for St. Jude’s. He had a little boy on who had been fighting cancer his whole life and had some sort of device around his neck to even help him talk and breathe. Can you even imagine? Can you imagine what it would be like to be his mother? The anxiety and thoughts that are constantly going through her mind have to be so extreme. I know what would be going through my head. “WHY? Why me, why my son? What did I do wrong, what else can I do for him? Is he in pain? Does he know? Why are those people staring at him and why are they feeling sorry for him? He is just like you and me. He’s just sick!” My children are my entire world. They are the reason I get out of bed every day. When I get off work I can’t wait to pick up my daughter at daycare and see the smile that comes across her face just from seeing ME. ME! I can’t even say how different our life would be if my child had cancer or some other disease because I do not know. We have dealt with my sister being disabled for her whole life but it has become part of our life and we do not know anything different. It is something she has had her whole life. How do people do it? How do they wake up the day after their daughter’s 10th Birthday and she all of the sudden doesn’t feel good. After a few doctor visits she is diagnosed with Leukemia. How does that happen! How do you just not give up? People are AMAZING, that’s how. The workers at St. Jude’s and every other Children’s Hospital in the world have to be the most unselfish people on the planet. Heaven’s gates are already open for them whenever they are ready. I’m sure there’s not even a pre-approval process for them J
So, after that amazing episode I started thinking. It could be worse. We always complain that we are broke. Well guess what, we might not have a lot of money to spare but we have A LOT to show for it. We drive nice cars, we own a beautiful home. I am able to get my hair and nails done and my son usually has the newest video game on the market. We don’t eat like kings, but at least we have food! We have cable TV, internet, computers, all of it. So what am I complaining about?!? It could be worse. We could be without jobs. We could be standing in line at the food bank. We could be moving from house to house, renting and getting kicked out for not paying because we have no job. For that matter we could be homeless! Our children could have an incurable disease or disability and we could have no medical insurance. We could have no family or friends that cared about us. It really could be a lot worse. So when I complain about not being able to go to that concert, or missing a night out at the bar with my friends just smack me. Really? It could be worse. I don’t think I’ll be able to stop complaining about money. Gas Prices, grocery prices, daycare prices. I don’t think I would be a normal human being if I didn’t always want a little more money in my pocket. HA.
As far as the burglary goes, yes I am still UNBELIEVABLY angry about it and I want justice. I plan to go to court and watch his testimony. I want him to know I am there watching him and I want him to see that he did not scare me off. I will not sit back quietly, he will pay for everything he stole from me in one way or another. Every time I see something missing I just think of the extra license plate he will have to make while he’s in prison. LOL! However, I am thankful that we were not home. We have all of our animals and family members safe. Material things can be replaced but I could never replace any of my family or animals. Never. It will be a long road to travel until I feel safe again in my own home but I will get there. It might take a 4 Wheel Drive, but I’ll get there. I really have to thank my friends and family for all of your support lately. I have the best friends and family on the PLANET! I just have to remember, it could be worse...
