OLIVER

Oliver.

What kind of friend are you anyway?

So we all say it, we all hear it...  If you need anything let me know :) ( big old smiley face at the end of the text) or a little hug at the end of your conversation.  Who really means it when they say it?  Well, I like to say that I am the type of person who means it.  I try to take time out of my day to personally text, message, or email someone if I don't have time to call them if they aren't feeling well or going through a tough time and say "Hey, hope you are feeling better." or "Hope your day is better today."  or "Hope you have a great day today."  On the same note if a close friend of mine is traveling I will send them a little message to let them know I am thinking of them and to travel safe. 

I really started thinking about this today on my travels home and I only have a couple of these friends.  Very few who even call me unless they need something.  I don't have anyone to cry with lately, nobody who gives me that time of day.  I'm not trying to be "that friend" but come on man...  I am one of the friendliest people ever I think.  Maybe I am too overbearing.  Maybe I am TOO friendly.  I guess.  It could be that I do too much for people.  Maybe it's because I try to buy their friendship by doing favors for them, and running them a soda if they need one or baking them cupcakes last minute for half price or some of the many things I do.  I guess I've always been that way.  I'm gullible.  I'll do anything to make someone like me.  It's a horrible habit to have.  Probably a disorder or something I'm sure.  If I saw a psychologist she would probably tell me what an idiot I am.  I'm not asking for much, just a simple text of hey how's it goin once in a while would be awesome. 

If you don't know by know I consider my close friends to be my family.  Once I build a trust with you, I let you in to my life and my children's lives and they develop a friendship with you.  They learn by what they see.  To me friends are family, I treat you the same.  But, like I said I don't have many close friends.  I'm  not going to say I'm going to stop, but I'm going to try to change just a little.  Sometimes it hurts.  Sometimes it feels like I'm being used. 

Then it comes to a weekend like this weekend.  Friends for 20 years.  We talk via text and Facebook and occasionally on the phone.  This happens with most of my friends from Wood River.  At least Shae, Crystal, Lance and Heather.   We don't see each other forever.  Then we are together and it's like we never missed a beat.  We didn't even leave.  We never stopped talking, like I just talked to you yesterday.   Nothing is expected.  I can cry with you, I can laugh with you and I can hate you and you can hate me.  Tomorrow it will be all good.  Why is it so different and so hard to make such good friends once you leave?  Don't get me wrong.  I have my Nig, and I have good guys that I have met in the past couple of years and they are so supportive but since they travel and live out of town I rarely see them.  When I do though, it is something special. 

I guess what I am trying to say is Thank You.   Thank you to those close friends of mine for being the kind of friend that I try to be.  I'm sorry if I am overbearing and if I seem to push myself on you.  I guess it's just the way I am.  I don't mean to come off as a bitch.  I am a much better writer than a talker.  So if it's just a text you get from me, I apologize.  Also, I'm a forgetful person.  I try, I get busy, my kids are consuming, and then I hit the couch and I zone out on the TV.  I try to answer texts, emails, messages, but...  somewhere some get lost.  For that I apologize but it's me :) 

The good thing is.  I'm back to cupcaking.  Something I love.  Markets start in a couple of weeks here and go until April with my sister.  I'm going to try my best at Les Mis auditions in a couple of days.  Even though I have to plunk it out on my own on the piano, I'll hopefully get it!  I'm so super excited and nervous about it.  Les Miserables is my most favorite musical of ALL time.  I studied it in High School.  I saw it live twice.  I recorded the 20th Anniversary and watched it probably 5 times.  I had the CD's on my desk at work forever and would listen to them intently when I had lots of programming to do.  Oh I'm just rambling now but I'm so super excited about it!!! 

So as the weekend wraps up, I'm glad to have been a part of the celebration for Travis this weekend.  It was great to see the close friends that we have all gathered up in Gothenburg to wish him a Happy Birthday.  I just can't wait until the next birthday.  Who knows what we will come up with next!!