Today when I crawled out of bed and brewed my cup of coffee my daughter was watching Glee, of course, and the kids were competing in some contest and ended their competition with "Man in the Mirror". I went into instant goosebumps and knew that I had finally hit the nail on the head with what I wanted to write my blog about this month. I've been trying to write for two weeks, I click on my new post and I can't ever finish.
It's the holidays. We all have our routines that we follow during the holidays with our families and friends. The baking, the dinners, the parties and decorating. The constant asking for this and that from the kids and making of lists for Santa, shopping and wrapping and checking each list to be sure that you didn't forget anyone. Does this all sound familiar to you? Let me shed some light on why I'm looking in the mirror this Christmas.
I spent my Thanksgiving Day crying this year. Crying because I knew that I wouldn't be able to go Black Friday shopping to pick up the sale prices I needed to pick up for those perfect gifts on my kids' Christmas lists. Then I was crying because I fought with my father about being on my cell phone, trying to work and make money by booking an event or sell a sponsorship or an ad or a website so that I could make some money to spend even 50 dollars on Black Friday on just one single gift. Then I cried because I got a text message that my phone was scheduled to be shut off in the morning. Everything was coming to fruition. My medical bills were crazy, I had been kicked off of unemployment for a week because of surgery, and my new self employment idea was going off to a not so good start. I cried, all through dinner. The best part about social media is that I get to live a life that's not my real life. Pictures speak a completely different language than reality.
So, today when I heard that song it kind of spoke to me. I mixed that along with a video that I saw on social media the other day and I felt like it really captured what Christmas was about for us every year, but I was focusing on the wrong thing so much this year. My family has always been an enormously giving family. I've provided food, gas, Christmas trees, decorations and gifts for others in need. This year some other families helped us during a couple of tough times and we were so grateful. My kiddos have learned that it's not about the expensive gifts. Do they ask for them still? Sure, but it's just in hopes that maybe Santa might pull through. Their lists are relatively small and the gifts are all simple. Things like guitar strings, color books, markers. Simplistic things.
This is where I feel I have succeeded in life. With my children. When my son saw me struggling on Thanksgiving, he brought me a 50 dollar bill and with tears in his eyes asked me to buy a Christmas tree for his sister. He had been saving his mowing money the last few months to go Black Friday shopping himself because he knows there are always great deals on video games on those days. I gave the money back and told him that I would find a great tree and for him to use the money he earned. My daughter keeps trying to do things around the house to earn money to buy her hedgehog Theo his own gifts from her. These are the gifts that I ask for at Christmas. I want to see the giving spirit and kindness reflected from myself into my kids. Kind of like looking at myself in the mirror, if you will.
I believe that the help we received during our hard times and the help that we have given to others really has helped teach my children how it feels to give. We make sure to involve our kids when we deliver Meals on Wheels and they love to help deliver the meals. You see, to us the holidays are supposed to be about smiles, and laughter. They should be about friends and family. Spend the holidays with those you love. Have a sleepover on the living room floor with your best friends who don't have anyone to spend the holidays with. In my family, your friends are family and they always will be. My home is always your home and you are always welcome. Lord knows that we make enough food to feed a hundred people at the holidays.
This year, make sure that you are being the person that you want to see a reflection of yourself in your children. Do that mirror check... make that change. Is the man in the mirror who you want to see or do you need to fix something to make a difference? Start with you, change your ways and open your mind. Merry Christmas everyone! I love you all for the enormous support you have always shown me in my writings and my family in our adventures.
~Carianne
