A lot of you are new to my writings, some of you are my regular readers. Thanks for always being on my journeys with me. It's been a very long time since I've had the time to sit down and write. Today I made a point to do it, because my mind needed the release. The past 12 months of my life have been something of a whirlwind; a tornado if you will. The rain had already started many months before that, but the real storms brewed over the summer, fall and winter months. How I survived, I really don't know to be honest with you.
A year ago today my life took quite a turn. I'm a pretty caring person and someone really figured that out and took the best of me, the best of my heart and it's taken most of my soul and happiness. I couldn't quite get the words out for this blog for the last few months until today I was reminded of the song "When you love someone." by Bryan Adams. It probably stung me the hardest out of everything I've heard or anything that's been said to me in the past 4 or 5 months. Two of the biggest lines in the song for me that just hit today were, "You'll deny the truth... believe a lie.. there'll be times that you believe that you can really fly."
I really did believe I could fly, I believed everything, but I don't believe I'm the first person who ever deals with this in their life, but dealing with it for the first time in 22 years, that was a complete new world for me and having it hit as hard as it did; that hurt. It hurt hard. They learned that I was a complete music fanatic, a superfan of their music and thing just went pretty hard and fast from there.
Taking advantage of someone with an open heart and blind eyes to the entire world is a pretty easy task. When we break though, it's a tough break. It's a hard recovery. We don't bounce back after a situation like that . If I can't stop myself from being a victim of this type of thing, how can I help my kids avoid it.
How will I teach my daughter that every man that writes her a song isn't awful? When deep down it will always remind me that the one who wrote music for me did it with a purpose.... to make me fall into the routine of asking me for money. Favors. Help. That not every man out there is truthful to her heart as much as she would like to believe it.
This is another reason that song hit me so hard today... "When you love someone, you'll do anything. You'll do all the crazy things that you can't explain." Never in my life would I have imagined what I was willing to give up for another person. Love is supposed to do that to you right? You're supposed to sacrifice, but to what extent? "When you love someone, you'll sacrifice. Give it everything you've got and you won't think twice. You'd risk it all... no matter what may come. When you love someone."
Being someone who cares about everyone is a curse and it's hard not to give everyone a chance in life. As I grow older it makes me harder in my heart, it makes the tears fall a little easier. You don't want to believe that people can be so deceitful or hurtful, but they are out there. Ultimately I'll still listen to my heart because that's the path I've always chosen. If I didn't, I wouldn't have my two kids in the first place and God knows I am ever so thankful for them every single day of my life. In the end, I am hurt; but I'm thankful for the lessons I learned in the last year. My inexperienced eyes were surely opened to see that not everyone has a good heart, and not everyone loves like I do. Big hearts are open, but they are also open to heart break. As much as we try to protect ourselves and our kids; it will happen. When it does, open your arms to those who need the embrace. It hurts. More than I remember. "Your lonely nights have just begun... when you love someone."
