So I’ve been trying to figure out how to write this without
sounding like a braggart. There
probably isn’t a way around it, so I’m just going to do it anyway. I finally graduated on Saturday with my
Associate of Arts in Information Technology.
What am I going to do with it? I
don’t really know yet. I’m just going
to look at it for a while I think. My
body and mind are still in some sort of shock I think. Did I really just graduate? I just did that and passed all of those
classes? I got a “B” in College
Algebra? Who does that?? High Five “Me”! I didn’t even get B’s in Math in High School.
When I first set out on this journey I was scared as
hell. I had no idea what I was
doing. There I sat at my desk with all
of these huge books, flipping through them like oh my God what did I even
do. I must be crazy. The week that I started, the very first day
was the day that we left for Kherington’s first trip to Shriner’s Hospital in
Minneapolis, MN. Neat. I’m already emailing all of my professors
telling them that I am going to have late assignments on the first day! Awesome.
I can tell these A’s will be gone for sure. I took all of my Information Technology classes and Social
Science classes first because I knew they would be the easiest for me to get
back into the groove of school. When we
got home I was already behind, but I caught up. I had decided to keep doing the Farmer’s Markets that semester
with my friend Bev since my sister had moved and that was just plain
stupid. Harsh to admit, but it was
awful. That fall I was juggling Leon
working 2 jobs, me going to school full-time, Kherington in Pre-School for the
first time, Lawrence in sports and youth groups, and baking and selling for
Cloud 9. I never saw the kids, I never
saw Leon, I never saw my friends or my family.
It was a waste of life. I made
the President’s List! A 4.0! I have never been more proud. What did this all cost me…
Christmas came and went.
I breathed for a minute. I
celebrated with every friend that I could and baked a little. Next semester was coming up quick and I
found out that my grades were getting me some recognition. Soon I was going to be inducted into the Phi
Theta Kappa Honor Society. Whoa, what
is this? So, at this point it didn’t
matter. I needed to get those good
grades. I was getting scholarships and
recognition. I knew that I had to get
those good grades. We all fought, I
screamed if I couldn’t have time to study.
I still had to juggle the sports, the youth group, Leon working at
night, the cupcakes, working myself.
All of that crap and it was unreal.
Kherington was having some horrific behavior issues, I was dealing with
it daily with daycare and school.
Trying to juggle the work and problems at school was just too much. I
took 15 hours that semester. Because I
liked to punish myself I guess. More
Information Technology Classes, I couldn’t get enough of them. I picked up another Social Science class
because my instructor was the best I had ever had. Even though the workload was heavy, he told me I was one of his
favorite and most studious students. I
passed each class with flying colors. I
have gone to him several times for advice and even told him if I had a choice
of someone to hand me that hard earned diploma it would have been him. Again, I pulled out the 4.0. I made the President’s List Again! In the end…
did it matter?
The next semester I had to take that dreaded math
class. I couldn’t test into College
Algebra, the only required Algebra course for my degree so I took
Intermediate. Leon started out working
and I was taking the class online along with the running of the kids to all of
their events. This time we added in the
band concerts, the programs, the fundraisers, the games. I never had time to study. The only time I even got started on studying
was after 9:00 when the kids were finally in bed and I could open a book. Imagine how easy it was to stay awake and
study something as interesting as a Science lecture or a Math lecture after
9:00 at night. I was bound to
fail. Leon had to quit his job, there
was no way out. I had to drop out of
all of the Winter Farmer’s Markets for that semester, I felt horrible. I knew that my customers were looking
forward to me being there but I just couldn’t do it. I spent all day every Saturday and Sunday studying. When my parents would come to visit I got to
see them for an hour maybe for lunch and I was even asking them questions about
my homework while we visited. My life
was never not about school.
During this semester I also took on another duty of being an
officer for Phi Theta Kappa. Now, it
wasn’t much. We had our meetings during
our lunch hours and I was only taking notes.
It was the remembering to type up the notes and send them to all of the
members that got to be hard to do. It
seems minimal, but dang it when you are home for 2 hours a day before going to
bed some nights that gets hard to remember.
Math was awful, I took it as an online course and failed
everything. My tests were just a
complete waste of my time. I didn’t
pass a single one of them. I never
understood anything, and trying to find time to go to the Math Lab was
completely out. By the time that the
final came I was scared to death. It
took me two tries but I passed that thing with 3 points to spare. In another class I fell so behind because I
had worked so hard on my math and trying to spend what little time I had with
my kids that I had to complete the entire class in two weeks. I did it though. I WAS Wonder Woman that semester. I passed that semester making it still on the Dean’s List! Did it even matter...
Finally, my last semester.
Math again, but I wasn’t so worried this time. I had a good teacher. I
was taking it IN class so I knew I could get it this time. I was going to have a fantastic final
semester. Things were going great,
friends were ready to help me kick it in gear, I had rumors of my sister coming
back home for good, the cupcake business was booming, my classes were going to be
fun and I was going to Washington D.C. for a National Conference with Phi Theta
Kappa! I earned this by getting good
grades in college and becoming an officer with the society. I was so excited.
Then… bad things started happening and they didn’t
stop. There was no end! I had an extreme Anxiety Attack and ended up
in the ER. I had no idea what it was,
it hadn’t happened before. They
couldn’t diagnose it, so one thing led to another and I ended up going to seventeen
million doctor appointments all semester to find out why I was there. Tami got sick, we didn’t know right away but
she thought the worst and I was in denial forever. Until the benefit I finally accepted that Tami would be leaving
us. A few weeks after the benefit, my
Uncle John passed away. I hustled down
to his funeral and back; still making sure that my customers were not
disappointed for our big debut at Girl’s Day Out. A couple of weeks later Tami passed away. My heart was broken. My school had taken away from all of my time
with Tami, Kendall, Mariah and Cutler.
Even though I had really just gotten close to Tami within the past
couple of years she was my biggest cheerleader. Now who was going to yell at me “bitch, you better get that paper
done before you come down here for a drink”.
Or when I walked in to The Union, “Did you get that done? You better have or I’m gonna kick your
ass.” She was on top of my stuff. Everything fell apart. I didn’t do any homework for a week at
least. I just couldn’t stare at my
computer, it didn’t happen.
For years I’ve dealt with back issues, but they’ve come to
be extremely painful this semester, of course.
So I was referred for an MRI and a cyst was found on my spine that is
inoperable. We’re currently
experimenting with different treatments and I’m dealing with this pain. Which is awesome when I’m leaning over a
laptop. After the MRI we left for
Washington D.C.! Ahh I was so excited
to go back. It had been 20 years since
I had been there. So many things had
changed. It was still beautiful, but
cold… that sucked. I learned so many things during my forums at
the conference. Listening to Katty Kay
was breathtaking. What a wonderful
experience. BUT, guess what. No homework was done that week either. So…
now I’m about 3 weeks behind on homework.
In the end, I got caught up. I did two classes of homework for almost half a semester of each
in the last two weeks of the semester.
I studied for my Math Final. I
loaded up for my other finals and just crash studied. In the end I failed my math final. BUT, it was ok with me. I
ended up with a B in the class. I was good with it. I didn’t even bother with the retake. I was way too busy. I had a graduation reception to put on and
hadn’t even cooked one morsel of food.
Getting a B was satisfying enough for me. I prayed that I had done enough in the other classes to pass and
put the books away. In that last week I also won the award for the Business and Community Education Student of the Year. I was floored. Katie and I had both won this award and earned it by working hard and taking our education to start our business. By keeping the business going, I pushed through and earned recognition for my efforts. I was extremely proud.
In the other two days I cleaned my entire house that really
hadn’t been cleaned the way “I” clean it for two years. I cooked batches upon batches of potato
salad, pasta salad, and cupcakes. I
shopped for decorations, I made display decorations, I gathered my awards and
recognitions, and I even found two of my old senior pictures from 1996. By Saturday of Graduation I thought I might
harm someone or myself. The Friday before,
even though I was on vacation, my employer was helping to sponsor an event in
town and I was fielding calls and texts to make sure that all of our bases were
covered and that night we went to the event to try to relax a little. Saturday was just a blur. I barely remember anything besides getting
my hair done and driving to the school.
So, that was my school adventure. If you ran into me in the past two years and I was grouchy or
tired, yep that’s probably why. Two
kids, one who’s disabled and a husband who was working two jobs and then
working full-time and running a business yourself is tough. When you add school in there, you kind of
want to just smack someone once in a while.
I still tried to make time for my friends and family but it didn’t
happen all of the time. I think there
were some weekends where I wore the same clothes for a full 48 hours. I’m sorry to everyone that I lost along the
way, but I won’t ever forget my time at WNCC.
I’m proud to be a Cougar, and damn proud of that 3.74. I’ll keep sharing those pics of me in that
cap and gown. I didn’t get the 4.0, but
I did graduate with Honors and that was the goal all along. I passed math people… that counts for
something! J Who knows where things will go, for now I'm in an amazing job with some great friends. Life is a book, and the rest is still unwritten.
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