When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by...

Ok, so even though it looks like the skies in my life are bright and sunny, really they aren’t. I have the uncanny ability to only share what I want people to see. It makes me “look” better to everyone else. However life, as we all know, isn’t all a bed of roses! The past few months of our life has been crazy to say the very least. Our latest hurdle involves my beautiful princess. Since around Thanksgiving we had come to the disheartening conclusion that Kherington was having issues. At that time she was 18 months old and still not walking. I did not feel it was an issue because she had always been a little behind. She didn’t crawl until just after her 1^st Birthday and so I just passed it off as a little delay. Well, after conversations with her daycare we decided maybe we better ask our doctor what he thought. God Bless our doctor, he said she was just being stubborn but if we wanted to help her out we could start some physical therapy in January. During those two months it seemed as though her walking did not get better and it actually regressed. So, in January we started her in Physical Therapy. Her first session was just focused on her walking. They decided that her ankles rolled in a little so we ordered some inserts for her shoes. I felt so sorry for her. You could tell that they would hurt her by the end of the day, the poor baby was even rubbing her own feet when we would take her shoes off L We kept it up though, because we knew that it was important for her to have the support and we would just have to be tough. Her second session of therapy was focused on her motor skills. Picking things up, coloring with a crayon, all of the basics. She passed that with no problems. The therapists decided that she was ok as far as those skills went but that she should continue with the walking to see how she progressed. 

Near the middle of February we were not seeing a lot of improvement. This caused concern not only with us, but again with the daycare. They were genuinely concerned, even though it is not fun to hear we needed to hear it. So, back to the doctor we went. This time the doctor showed some concern. He truly thought she would pick it up but after some initial testing it was determined that she was developmentally delayed. Of course this started throwing all sorts of red flags our way. My sister, Becky, is handicapped. She was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy and Epilepsy at an early age. Even though Cerebral Palsy is not a genetic disorder, I couldn’t help myself from wondering if that was what was going on. At first I was ok with it. I was ready to handle anything. I am a Mom and I am tough I would tell myself. Kherington will get through it and if she doesn’t walk then I’m familiar with it. I’ll deal with it and anything God throws my way. Then the clouds started settling in. Why would this happen? My little girl will never be able to have a normal life. She will not get to go to prom with a date if she can’t dance. How will she walk down the aisle. Dramatic, yes I know... but hey that’s me.

So, with our doctor’s help we have scheduled a neurological exam for Kherington with Children’s Memorial Hospital in Denver on Monday, March 12^th. They will do some testing, see if everything is functioning ok and tell us where to go from there. I am prepared to hear the worst but praying with everything I have for the best. Unfortunately I do not handle a lot of stress too well. I have been taking a lot of time for myself and going out to try to be care free. It doesn’t work, but it helps. It’s definitely not the solution, but I have to figure out on my own how to start handling it now. If the road is bleak, I will need to start preparing to travel it no matter what the cost.

Now, with that all said, we’ll get to the title of this particular blog. Ironically I had previously scheduled to finally get my Marilyn Monroe portrait tattoo on March 14^th. If you do not already know she is my inspiration. She struggled through so much and ultimately lost her battle but I still respect her entirely. Since my tattoo on my back has the music for the first few bars of the song “Smile”included (“Smile, though your heart is aching...”) I have decided to add a little more than just my Marilyn tattoo. I am adding the words, “When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by”. These will be an everyday reminder for me to know that God will throw these things my way but I will get through. WE will get through. Life may look like rainbows and sunshine but once in a while there are clouds in that sky, and yes, I will get by.

The song is amazing, if you don't know it you can listen simply by clicking on ... Smile :)