There is fear in all of us, how you handle the fear and facing it and learning from it is what makes us stronger and helps us grow in life. Some of us spend so much time trying to avoid the things that we are afraid of that it can actually make us physically and mentally ill. Feeling anxious is a normal, but when we are faced with fear the anxiety builds and sometimes it can force us into a depression. Others will live their lives as a safe, boring life never putting forward any risk or excitement. Sometimes we need to feel the rush of facing our fears to know that we are strong enough to overcome these steps in our life.
Asking someone what scares them is so much more universally complex than it sounds. When I ask myself this question, I look back on my life and it changes so often, I don't know what I really fear anymore. Naturally, most of us fear change and every single day our world changes. What will happen at work tomorrow? If we are dating someone or married to someone do we fear leaving them because we don't want to change the situation we are in? Are we just comfortable so we leave it as it is to avoid the change? We naturally resist change. Don't get stuck in a situation or in one place because you are avoiding it. Step out of the box. Fight the fear to change.
Along with change, comes the fear of being alone. No one can relate to this more than myself. There are many moments, regretfully, that I have cried with some beautiful friends over conversation about being afraid of loneliness. As much as we hate to admit it, we can all scream to the mountaintops that we are "loners", "don't need anyone" and that we are "strong and independent"; but the fear of being lonely is real and relevant. People may see my social life all over the place, see me out having "fun" all of the time, rest assured... it keeps me from being lonely. It's important to surround yourself with good friendships, people who make you smile and to keep those social interactions. Life can still be great and you don't have to have someone on your arm to keep you going.
Striking out or feeling rejected is just another fear that falls under all of these categories. Is anyone seeing a theme here? When you first started reading, I bet what came through your mind was... you were scared of snakes or spiders or needles. In fact, when I asked myself that very question I answered with "dying in a fire". In reality, that's just something I'm scared of... not an actual fear. So maybe, my question should have been; "What's your biggest fear?" I could go on and on with fears that we all face every day. The fear of getting hurt, the fear of being judged by others, or being inadequate. Overall tying them all together fear is the real feeling of uncertainty.
From day to day we don't know what will happen. We can only get out there, face our fears and live life the way that we were guided to live it. In one week it will have been an entire year since I actually put my wedding ring away and we actually said the final words that we had been avoiding for such a long time. We let fear hold us both back from moving on or from helping our children grow because we were afraid of change, loneliness, failure, rejection, uncertainty, something bad happening, being judged or getting hurt. When we let fear take over, we all lose. Once we gain strength to face our fears, we all get the strength to live life and smile again. Face the fear in every storm that blows through your life and you will be able to say, "Actually I CAN do it." Breathe.
As usual, words from another beautiful song...
"Tomorrow's another day.. And I'm thirsty anyway, So bring on the rain."
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