Harvesting the Crops After the Rain

 Throughout times in our life as also happens in seasons of a year we will go through a drought or a time of sadness.  We can feel sad, depressed or even without emotion.  In a drought the grass turns brown and needs watering, needs cared for and attention; much in the same fashion as we feel when we start to feel down.  

Every day when we wake up we are given the chance to breathe new life.  To live a fresh start.  It's normal and ok for everyone to experience times of sorrow, doubt and emotional times when we just don't feel like we are enough.  However, don't live there forever.  I lived there.  I lived there for a long time and it hurt.  It still hurts to see those old pictures, the look on my face and the sad in my eyes.  Every day wanting to try to start again, but something would trip me up and I would find anything that I could to give myself a reason to not get out of bed.  Spending my days sleeping, crying for hours on end with no real reason for it, and feeling that no one cared.  In my mind no one cared that I was in bed, no one cared that I was crying.  No one cared that my hair wasn't done or that I was gaining weight again or  that I hadn't changed clothes for three days....I cared, but I wanted so much for someone to care and in my own mind I had created the vision that no one did.  

Before I went through this bad time in my life I was such a happy person.  I had completely transformed myself.   My career was wonderful, I had an amazing self taught job in technology that made me feel established.  My bills were being paid and we were driving nice vehicles and buying a home.  Our kids were beautiful visions of sunlight that kept me smiling every day.  I had done a physical transformation and lost over 150 lbs, fixed my teeth to make my smile beautiful.  My life seemed complete.  It was my turn to give back.  

During my life I have always been a giver.  I give what I can.  Time, heart, money...   I give a lot.  I give chances, phone calls, handwritten letters even a hug or a smile.  For one single moment, my heart hardened.  I felt like my giving wasn't appreciated and that was a ridiculous mistake.  Never in your life should you give to get something in return.  I have never given to get something in return and for a moment I forgot that.  My life turned upside down.  My job went away, I felt empty and unappreciated.  I didn't want to give anymore when it seemed I was getting nothing in return.  I had worked so hard and for what?  Again, the first rule is to give without the expectation of receipt. 

It takes one positive person to help someone realize that life can be good.  We can make our lives better each and every day if you give yourself the chance to do so.  In recent months I have experienced a massive change for the better.  It feels so good to be the giver again.  Every day when I wouldn't get out of bed I could see the sadness in my kids' eyes.  I could feel the anger from others, but as long as I was doing what I wanted to do I didn't really care.  Was it what I really wanted to do?  No... but I couldn't for the life of me find a reason to get out of the bed and give myself to the daily routine anymore.  I had one person who would message me and call me every day asking for my list of five things that I was grateful for that day.  Eventually I started making it a point to wake up and ask him what his list was before he asked me.  Every day it would get easier.  That was his gift to me and I am so grateful to have received it.  No matter how much I argued and how much I wished to deny his gift when he first offered it to me, I eventually accepted it and my life is getting better for it each and every day.  Just today in discussion I told him he was the best friend I had and I meant it.  

Being a giver doesn't mean giving every minute of your time or spending every penny that you earn.  It's the little things.  Giving the little things get you through every day.  The good mornings, the smiles, the hugs.  Seeing the smiles in return and hearing the laughs, the gracious thank you coming from their heart.  That is what giving is all about.  

Still one of the favorite writings I've heard to this day comes from the song "Humble and Kind".  There's a final line of the song that says, 

Don't take for granted the love this life gives you
When you get where you're going don't forget turn back around
And help the next one in line
Always stay humble and kind...

Some stranger somewhere still remembers you because you were kind to them when no one else was.  I fully believe that and always will to this day.  Pay it forward and harvest the crops after the rain, because someday those crops will feed the hungry and you will always feel the gratefulness in your heart.